At their own birthday parties, kids may find it difficult to focus on whether their friends are having fun. Preparing your child to be a good host can help everyone enjoy the day.
 

Lesley Gore may have sang, “It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to,” but really, who wants their child to have a meltdown at her own birthday bash?

In truth, it happens frequently. Emotions and expectations are high, and it’s easy for seemingly small frustrations to send a child to go into full tantrum mode even when—or maybe especially when—he is the center of attention, receiving well wishes and gifts at his much-anticipated party.

Perhaps the birthday girl received the “wrong” present or maybe she didn’t win the game or get the first slice of cake. Whatever it is, it’s important not to let this challenging moment derail the party or ruin the festivities. And, perhaps more importantly, parents can prepare their kids not just for the fun and excitement of their birthday, but for playing the role of host at their party. Setting expectations for this “job” and helping your child think through the responsibilities it entails can go a long way toward ensuring everyone has a great time, hosts and guests alike—and that your child will learn an important lesson on how to treat her friends and show concern for their feelings. 

Birthday girls and boys set the tone for how their party guests will behave. In order to have a successful party, it boils down to two concepts: have good manners and be gracious.

RELATED: Ultimate Kids' Party Planning Guide for the New York City Area
 

Before the Party

Though it’s your child’s special day, that does not mean he can forget how to say “please” and “thank you,” or neglect the fact that his guests took the time to celebrate with them. Yes, a birthday only comes once a year, but good manners should be exhibited every day of the year—and children need that little nudge to remind them of this. 

Birthday party experts Jodi Levine, founder and owner of Jodi’s Gym in Mount Kisco and the Upper East Side, and Michelle Sperry, owner of Fleur de Lis Academy in Norwalk, agree that the fundamental quality of a good birthday party host is to mind his or her manners. This all starts before the party even begins. 

Both Levine and Sperry say that good manners should be enforced and practiced well before the party starts with parents. Consider running through a pretend party to go over how to be polite so the actual party will run smoothly.

Even a response to a guest’s RSVP is important. Faye de Muyshondt—

author of socialsklz:-) for Success: How to Give Children the Skills They Need to Thrive in the Modern World and founder of the New York City etiquette school socialsklz:-)—says that we often leave people hanging once they say they can or cannot attend your party. “[Respond to a guest’s RSVP] within a week and ask your child to do it via phone or email, starting out with an expression of gratitude,” de Muyshondt says.